One day this spring Ms. Cranky gave herself an afternoon off; it was a Friday, with lovely lilting weather. She treated herself to a late lunch at a lovely little restaurant in the hood. There are more and more great lunch specials. This place served light, healthy food but it was plentiful, under $7, with yet a doggie bag to take away and the atmosphere was sleek and quiet.
Ms. Cranky got all calm and happy. It takes very little to please her. While she lunched, she read and started to work on an article. There were a few other people, friendly guys working a city road crew, quietly talking at other tables up the way. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Why not? --- It was a beautiful spring Friday late afternoon. Cranky sat near the front window where there was lots of light. All was serene. The weekend would be busy as usual but this was Ms. Cranky’s time.
Then, a small woman opened the door, screamed across the long space to ask if she was still in time for the lunch special and Cranky means this woman really screamed. And, though there were many empty seats all around, she plopped, literally, down next to Ms. Cranky and threw her huge heavy purse just about onto Ms. C’s lap. She like hauled it over a banquette or whatever those things are called.
The woman, small in stature, big in tone, wanted the window behind her closed --- and she wanted it closed immediately. She wanted this for lunch and that for a drink; everything she wanted was shouted even when the waiter stood right in front of her. But, usually she chose to communicate with him by hollering from her seat to the farthest end of the bar where he was valiantly trying to place orders.
Suddenly, Ms. Cranky’s happy reverie was over. It was hard to concentrate on writing or even on the newspaper. Then, the woman pulled out her cell phone and screamed into that with great anger --- but, of course. Then, she decided that she not only wanted her window closed, she wanted Ms. Cranky’s window to be opened. That’s when Cranky finally spoke up and said that she was very happy with the window the way it was. It was still cool outside; the wonderful soft sunlight was enough for her. And, Cranky must again reiterate that there were many other seats the woman could have conquered; the place isn’t huge but fairly spacious for the area.
By now, Cranky was rushing as fast as she could to finish her lunch and get out of there; she felt pushed out and she was. Her great Friday afternoon lunch treat to herself was quickly ending, her thinking time eradicated. It was like a tiny fierce tornado walked into the restaurant and blew everything asunder. Even the guys over on the other side, the guys who had been working on the street were looking over at Cranky and making ‘I-understand-sympathetic faces’. Cranky was grateful for that.
And, when Ms. Cranky went up to the end of the bar to pay her bill, the waiter said “Please, please --- stay, relax, keep reading your paper, she always does this” but Ms. C. murmured that she had errands to do. She didn’t say that it was no fun being there anymore but it wasn’t.
The woman, though small in stature, had entered a peaceful lovely establishment and virtually bull dozed its peace --- just like that. And, then, while Ms. Cranky was still at the bar paying her bill, the woman slid across the banquette and took over her seat --- but, Cranky’s purse was still there, her shopping bag, her doggie bag, her beloved new spring jacket hung over the back of the chair across the table. The woman simply pushed all of Cranky’s things aside and moved over.
The very sweet and usually mild-mannered waiter witnessed the ‘take over’ of Cranky’s table and her things and actually hollered to the woman --- “Wait, you can’t do that; this woman hasn’t even gone yet, leave her things alone.”
But shortly after that, Ms. Cranky emerged onto the street gasping for air. Bull dozer, tornado, call it what you will. The woman had pushed her out, upset the other customers and left the poor dear waiter to deal with her.
Sometimes, Ms. Cranky thinks it would be great if she were a bit more assertive in asking for what she wants but this was not that situation, this was not about a woman being assertive. This was about a woman who knew how to clear a place.
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