Ms. CRANKY'S HAT, well, one of them

Ms. CRANKY'S HAT, well, one of them

Monday, June 20, 2011


Ms. Cranky has problems with some of the ‘gentry’ who live in her once-humble neighborhood and pay huge rents.   But, though they must have good jobs (or parents!) to afford these rents, they don’t get some simple things straight recycling.  Some of the gentry puts the paper recycling in the bottle and can barrel and vice versa.  So, Ms. Cranky who totally believes in recycling ends up spending a lot of time rearranging the barrels so that sanitation will even take the stuff, which, of course, makes her crankier than ever!!!

I mean, look at it this way --- if you can’t read, you can always look at the pictures on the side of the trash bins and get the general idea.  The pictures on the side are also of different colors.  A small child could figure it out.  I mean, Cranky feels really touched that these new people go to the trouble to put all their same papers and bottles together, they do do that, but then they reverse the bins so it’s ultimately of no value.

Ms. Cranky also gets real cranky about grown men (women too) riding their bikes on the sidewalk, going full speed when there are lots of old people and couples with babies in strollers on that same sidewalk.  Besides, there are just ordinary people hoping for a walk and not looking to be clobbered in the process!  First, it’s totally illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk, but, then, wouldn’t if just make sense that you didn’t ride your bike on a crowded city sidewalk?  Are we asking too much here?

Ms. Cranky tries to be forgiving and says “Oh, maybe they just moved from Kalamazoo, Michigan and they don’t know the rules here yet” but, still, even if you just moved from Shangri-La, you could probably figure out that you shouldn’t be riding your bike on a sidewalk.  So, Ms. C. hollers out to the bicyclists, mostly men, but they usually don’t hear her because they have those white things dangling from their ears so Ms. C. has shouted her lungs out for nothing.

And, when they do hear her, they sometimes holler back the most appalling words!  Ouiii.

One guy Ms. Cranky hollered at who didn’t have those white things in his ears, pulled up and asked her if ‘she thought she was the Mayor or something?’  Ms. C. retorted --- “No, I’m just someone who needs to work and can’t afford to be hit!”

Ms. Cranky has no desire to be Mayor --- too much work and anyway she’s not a millionaire though she does admit to coveting the beautiful tulips in City Hall Park this spring and also loving the old gas lamps near the fountain but Ms. Cranky can always go visit the lovely park as a citizen of this wonderful city.

Talk to you later and thanks for stopping by.  Remember to be especially careful walking along and when you cross a one-way street always look the opposite way too.  Both cars and bikes often go in the opposite direction because it’s convenient for them (if not for your poor nerves!)

Talk to you next time!
Ms. Cranky

Friday, June 17, 2011


Ms. Cranky is a person who truly loves life, people, city streets and public transportation.  She is generally in a good mood so when she gets cranky it’s because the train doesn’t come or is so crowded she can’t get on without being hit by a giant back pack. 
But, she really gets cranky when people aren’t aware of the people around them, when they’re not thoughtful and, sometimes, out rightly rude.  So, that is what this column addresses --- how we hurt each other and make life so much harder than it needs to be when it’s just so easy to be thoughtful  and, dare I say, loving, well, maybe thoughtful is enough ---  Ms. Cranky doesn’t want to push it here!


Today was a no-brainer, a real easy day, even the Metrocard machine worked without sending Ms. Cranky’s charge card back innumerable times.  So, Ms. C. was on a roll, until she tried to get a roll at a place in Penn Station that advertised --- “We now have peanut butter!” on a big sign.  Ms. Cranky was on a trip out to Long Island to help teach with a friend.  She needed some sustenance for the train so ordered a roll, there were a gazillion rolls in a case right in front of her and she ordered a multi grain roll with the thus advertised peanut butter.
The woman at the counter said --- “You have to go to the other counter for peanut butter.” So Ms. C. dutifully went to that section, ordered a ‘multi grain roll with peanut butter’ again and the guy at the second counter said --- “You have to go back to that counter, pointing to the first counter, for multi grain rolls, we only have white here.  So, Ms. Cranky went back and got a multi grain roll (why are they separated?  Are they catchy?)  But, then back at the second counter, they couldn’t find the peanut butter at all so Ms. C., still not grumpy because she loves getting out of town, ordered something else.  To tell you the truth, the whole thing was silly as Ms. Cranky has her own peanut butter at home and would never have ordered it if it hadn’t been for the big sign hanging over her head.
The above situation was not really aggravating but a curious person like Ms. C. has to wonder --- ‘Why would they bother having a sign advertising peanut butter if they don’t have any?  And, why would that particular sign be hanging above the counter that only holds multi grain rolls and not peanut butter? And, why are the whole grain rolls in a separate area from the other rolls so that the orderee has to keep running around?’ There were enough rolls in this place to sink several ships. And, she wondered on --- ‘Why are the poor cute little round rolls kept from each other and how is the ordinary buyer supposed to figure this all out?’
But nothing was going to spoil Ms. Cranky’s day --- no way, because she was excited to be going out to Long Island, an area she doesn’t know well and she loves seeing new things. 
On the train, Ms. C. ate some of her roll which did not have, of course, peanut butter on it when a large woman sat down beside her and began screaming at full throttle into her cell phone.  We weren’t even out of the station yet and Ms. C. always hates listening to other people’s calls --- and, why should she???
The woman was screaming to her mother who probably could have heard her without the aid of the phone and when she lost her signal, she got more upset and looked to Ms. Cranky for help.  Help?? --- are you kidding, help you pollute the world?  If you’re bleeding, I’ll help, if your husband is Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’ll be glad to listen to your problems but to help a yelling woman keep on yelling? --- No, no!!! 
Ouuiii.  And, to think that Ms. C.  thought she had left all the screamers in the Walgreen’s in Brooklyn where they seem to follow her from aisle to aisle so she gets so befuddled she can’t use her coupons. But here Ms. Cranky was on the hallowed Long Island Railroad going to the great suburbia of the world but, no, still she seemed to be followed by the Walgreen’s women, though this time in a lot larger frame but with the same outcome and attitude ---‘ I will scream my life in public and you’ll  just have to listen.’  Cranky was so upset that she couldn’t even eat her peanut butter-less roll.
But, that’s minor, that’s how the new world works and how people show us their ‘power’ --- their power to take over several aisles of a train with their loud, personal, often angry, drivel.  Ms. C. often wonders why so many people on cell phones are angry.  Is it the electronic vibes?  Do they permeate the angry part of the brain?
But, Ms. Cranky soldiered on as she is good at doing, taught a really good class (hopefully, she loved the students) and set out for home.  On the train back, there were only minor mishaps --- a young woman talking but not screaming so that every word was apparent only for several rows.  (You know these days you have no time for your own thoughts because you’re being bombarded by someone else’s.)
When Ms. C.  got up from her seat to walk back and see what this young woman looked like, the couple in front of the cell phone talker looked up at Cranky with this “Help Us” plea on their faces but, you know, everybody has to be in on this, everybody has to speak up, not just weird Ms. Cranky.  Why is she the only one, and, then when she speaks up everybody says ---- “Thanks, thanks, oh, that was so upsetting” --- well, if it was sooo upsetting, then why didn’t they speak up in the first place? 
But, you’re all welcome to borrow Ms. Cranky’s time-honored screaming cell phone ruse --- “Excuse me, please, but I have a horrible migraine headache today and I wondered if you might lower your voice?  The pain is intense.  Thanks so much.”   Not bad, huh?

Hey, thanks for stopping by.  See you next time.
In hopes for a peaceful, kind, joyful life,

Ms. Cranky