Monday, April 23, 2012
Ms. CRANKY had to get pretty far to a performance a few weeks ago and, as ‘luck’ would have it, it was a weekend when the subways near her house were being repaired and she would first have to take a ‘shuttle bus’ and, from there, two subways.
Shuttle buses are usually fine; in fact, sometimes Ms. CRANKY thinks they’re better than the subways. But, this particular bus did not work that way.
First it was packed, packed and Ms. CRANKY who loves little kids got a bit tired of being hit by their action toys when they fell into her while their father was on his cell phone or IPod or one of those, totally ignoring his pokey children.
But, the worst part was, and this was a slow day for traffic, that the driver inched along, like truly innnched along and there was no traffic to speak of. So, it became a looonnng way to the subway station, a long lightly-trafficked way but this driver, he had looked somewhat ‘monastic’ in hindsight Ms. C. thought, seemed to be lost in a meditative trance. CRANKY couldn’t believe it as she hates to be late and always sets out real early but it looked like, no matter how much time she gave herself this evening, she could still be late.
Cranky wondered if she should say something, she wondered if the pale young man was ill or had he driven way too many packed shuttle buses that day and had simply zoned out? Ms. C. wondered if she got close enough to him, impossible with this crowd, if she’d hear him intoning --- “OHM, OHM.”
Cranky, as those who know her know can attest, can be a bit restive and impatient at the best of times but she wasn’t this evening as she had given herself so much extra time to get to where she was going but as the bus painfully plodded along, she began getting a bit, well, nuts.
When they finally reached Borough Hall and the beginning of the next two subways, Cranky was very relieved. She didn’t even mind that it poured rain on her as she finally made it to Bushwick and ran to her performance place where bunches of artists were celebrating the first anniversary of a wonderful group of storytellers, a lovely place to be on any night but especially in the rain with a bunch of excited writers.
Yet, Cranky still wondered and she mentioned it in her piece that night --- what was it about that shuttle bus driver??? Is it even possible to drive a packed city bus, filled with every kind of person including children plunging toys into Ms. Cranky’s ribs, at such a slow speed??? Can one mediate while driving a large heavy ctiy bus? And where did this guy come from???
How did he pass the MTA driving test?
And, the most interesting question for Ms. CRANKY, remained --- how of all the shuttle buses in the entire city, did she get on this one??? HOW??? You know --- ‘Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, etc.’ (from the movie CASABLANCA).
To figure this whole thing out, Ms. Cranky may just have to put herself into a trance! --- Excuse me --- “Ohm, ohm. “
Ms. CRANKY thanks you for stopping by and warns you to be careful when you get on a bus --- if the guy is real slim with his hair shorn, maybe you should be careful --- wait for the next bus or get ready to meditate.
Posted by ms. cranky at 11:12 AM