Ms. CRANKY AND THE DANCING CASHIERS

or, "It Takes So Little To Make Me Happy"

Cranky had taken a test for a job, a very involved and convoluted test but loved the challenge of it but then worried she hadn’t passed it and wished she had had more time to look it over.  So, when she hit the streets of Manhattan after the test and a group of Italian-speaking people asked her directions to the ‘Metro,’ she blanked --- Cranky’s brain was still lost in the test she feared she had flunked.

“Metro, metro?“ --- Cranky thought --- oh, right --- the subway!  The Italian tourists were sweet and waited patiently, somehow trusting she’d eventually come through.  They were all on a corner of a major intersection in mid-Manhattan.  There had to be a subway around somewhere.

Finally, it came to Cranky and she pointed them to just a few blocks away, to a biggity-big station that she had fogged out on, apologizing to them that she had just taken a test and was confused.  The bigger guy of the group shook his head understanding the word ‘test’ and all were smiling and grateful, bound on the ‘Metro’ to “Ground Zero” --- a term Cranky hadn’t heard in a while.

Then, on the way back to Brooklyn and another commitment, Cranky stopped to return something to a store, a major chain --- only to be told she was two days’ past the return time and when Cranky balked, not wanting a pair of pants that didn’t fit, the cashier handed her back the bag and said --- “Here --- take them, they’re yours!”  Cranky tried bargaining for a store credit but to no avail.  “Call central headquarters” was all she was told and sadly went out the door carrying a bag and contents she couldn’t use and everybody probably knows how cheap (err, frugal) Cranky is. Plus, she hates waste and this was waste.

Cranky was now not only a bit shaky from the test and the failure to return something to a ‘known’ store but she hadn’t eaten anything so far that morning.  She wanted to just pick up a cup of coffee to take with her on the ‘metro’ back to Brooklyn and eat at home.

But, when Ms. Cranky searched and searched for a coffee cart (they are cheaper than most cafes and, usually, have great coffee) --- they were nowhere to be found --- not near Penn Station anyway.  It was all hot dog and souvlaki carts but no coffee carts.

So, underground in the Penn Station Concourse, Cranky wandered among the many shops, not wanting to spend a lot of money for not very good coffee.  Then, she came upon a really good chain she knew had good products if not cheap prices.  Has Cranky used the word ‘cheap’ over five times yet??? --- She hopes not.

But, as Cranky entered the shop and approached the counter to order, she came upon four young cashiers behind the counter, all women, singing along with and dancing to a very catchy Michael Jackson tune.  Cranky’s mood changed immediately --- they cracked her up!  Out of nowhere, it wasn't even noon yet, on an ordinary work day --- Cranky had come upon this burst of joy --- four girls, of different shapes, sizes and heights, each with a broad smile, were dancing up a storm.

They were so into their routine that Cranky danced along with them as she tried to order coffee --- not easy to do over the din. 

Then, suddenly, the girls pointed her to a stand in the middle of the shop where you help yourself to coffee and, as Cranky pulled out money to pay, they hollered and waved her away ---‘it’s on us!’ they said and went on about their dancing. She tried protesting, waving her bill in the air, but they just kept a-dancing.

This was just the medicine that Cranky needed to fend off the ‘probably-failed-the-test blues’ and the huge chain store that didn’t have a decent return policy.  How wonderful to run into this ménage and on an ordinary Thursday, in a crowded underground area, just up from where she’d catch the “A” train.

And, for their joy and good will towards her, Cranky will now not seek out a cheaper coffee cart when she is nearby but will go back to that shop over and over. 

It takes so little to be nice and it takes very little for Ms. Cranky to perk right up and soldier on.  ‘Perk up’, te he, not meant to be a pun but a pretty good one anyway!!!

Thanks for stopping by, as always, and Cranky’d love to hear any of your stories of lovely happenings in the ordinary days of your life.

Ms. Cranky ---

from underground at Penn Station where the subways run --- celebrating a good deed that meant so much --- cashiers who dance, and, why not? --- and, oh, the coffee was so very good!

rock on cashiers and counter people of the world --- rock on!!!

THE METS!!!!

Ms. Cranky though not a sports fan (?) does love when 'her' teams do well.  She loves the spirit of her city when everyone's all revved up.  Cranky even sometimes learns more about the specific sport at major times like this.

So, the Mets' win last night in LA is very exciting to her --- no she'll not buy a ticket, not that she could --- there are none. No, Cranky wouldn't go that far but she does think she might just hop a train from Atlantic Avenue and zip on out to Citi Field just to catch the rarefied air.  She thinks that just by 'being there' she'll be excited and will surely see a spectacle of her fellow New Yorkers --- all dressed up in their Mets hats and tees.  Hey, it's not exactly like having the Pope around but it'll have to do for the time being.

Not too many events can compete with that guy and his little beanie, at least for Ms. Cranky.  Bring back the Pope, bring back the Pope.  Cranky wishes he lived here, maybe they could volunteer at a soup kitchen together, they would have such fun.

But, back to, ehh, sports --- what Cranky mostly loves about these sporty things is seeing the families together and can easily cry over a father holding his small son's hand as they take the subway to a game.  If they might also have on matching outfits, Ms. Cranky will truly cry (but, not as much as for Pope Francis!).

There's just one problem that Ms. Cranky has with all this sports stuff (besides boredom, sometimes) --- how can they waste all that champagne???  It breaks Cranky's heart.

Any waste bothers Ms. Cranky, ala her over-wrought recycling life.  But, we're talking about champagne here!!!   Champagne --- so, so sad --- a sweet sentiment, perhaps, but such a waste.  Do something else with that sentiment --- like hold the cork.

Or, overwrought teams could get one of those new gadgety machines that put sparkles in your water and use that and save the champagne for what it's made for --- to drink.


Nice talking to you, a cool but sunny day here, Ms. Cranky gets a few hours off after a hard week --- a bit of gardening maybe or, perhaps, a trip to the Pier in Red Hook --- just to look out on the water and remember there's more to life than complications; sometimes that's hard to remember. And, there's gotta me more to life than unresponsive bureaucracies!!!  Hopefully.

Enjoy the baseball series but, remember --- hold the cork!

See you next time, Ms. 'baseball fanatic for a few weeks' Cranky.

The Pope comes to America and gets an Italian entertainer, not an Italian-American entertainer --- how come???

Ms. Cranky finds it ironic, though she understands somewhat, that Pope Francis for his first visit to the United States, will be serenaded while In Philadelphia by Andréa Bocelli who is from Italy, maybe a few blocks away, should they have ‘blocks’ in Italy.

There are tons of great singers, opera and otherwise, in Philadelphia.  There is the Academy of Music which housed an annual Pavarotti Competition for many years; there is a bar-restaurant called Victor’s Café in Philadelphia which grows opera singers.

Okay, Mr. Bocelli happens to be at a conference in Philadelphia at the same time, but, ‘hello’ --- the dear Pope could hear him any time --- in his own backyard (if they have back yards at the Vatican???)  But, come on here, Cranky’s sure Andrea would be very glad to just ‘pop by’ anytime --- ‘when in Rome.’

Ms. Cranky, though trying hard to be understanding, can’t help but think of all the wonderful American singers whose lives would be changed forever with the experience of singing for the Pope. 

But, per usual, no one has asked Ms. Cranky’s opinion.

 Have a great day, a lovely and safe Pope visit, a wonderful Jewish holiday.  

Ms. Cranky

any thoughts greatly appreciated.

Modern (?) Life (?)

(not written in 'Ms.Cranky' style, but, ...., thanks for looking, good stuff.  mpk)

I.

We couldn’t both get down the sidewalk at the same time, so I waited. I had a cart and three loads of clothes from the Laundromat that I was dying to get down the street and up to my apartment.

But, they, the adults and dog in-between really took their time, oh, she saw me waiting.  And, she could have told the man but she was busily talking to him though he was absorbed by his phone screen and not paying any attention to her.  She could easily have told him to move a little quicker as I waited and waited some more.

But he could have cared about her or anyone as he surveyed his contraption and walked as slowly as he wanted.

When the man finally looked up from his phone to walk past me, I thought he’d apologize, say, ‘sorry, or excuse me.’  I would have.  But, instead there was just this straight stare at me, quite hostile actually; maybe he thought I shouldn’t have been ‘allowed’ on his sidewalk.

Later I wondered who raised people like this?; who raised people to be so self-absorbed, so non-caring of other people’s lives; maybe they saw my grey hair and thought I was retired --- hah, like that will ever happen.  And, even if I could be retired, I might still be real busy.

But, besides wondering who raised these people, mostly, I worried about the little dog stuck in the middle of them.  She deserved better.  She seemed a very sweet doggie, if a bit confused by being very ignored.

II.

He weighed me on the scales and said “Good for you;” I had seen him many times before when I came to the doctor.  I laughingly explained --- “All I had to do was stop walking down the Dove chocolate aisle of the local CVS and 6 lbs. fell off in a month!”  I was sitting up on the metal table by now.

He then tied me up to the blood pressure machine and started it.  I watched the machine --- good --- my blood pressure was well within the norm. I knew how to read the machine.

And, it was a good thing I did because three minutes later I was still tied up to it and had memorized my blood pressure readings over and over.  By then, the young tech had received a call and was busily reading his phone which had a photo of a pretty young lady on it.  He smiled while reading, ignored me some more, then, still smiling, started texting back.

By now, I figured I’d had enough of this, extricated myself from the machine, got down from the table and hollered back to him my readings as I went out the door.  I doubt he heard.

At least, he had forgotten to charge me my ridiculous co-pay!  

Amazing.  And my acquaintance is worried ‘the Chinese are taking over the world’??? Well, it wouldn’t be hard to take over this world.  And this is why our new rip-off health plan upped my co-pay and cut my benefits??? --- no more eyeglasses for you dearie, no more preventive medicine for you, oh, and your blood pressure? --- it’s good you know how to read it by yourself. 

III.

I was happily swinging my bag while walking across Court Street in Brooklyn, happy because I was on my way to the great bread bakery (which also had cookies!).  I waited for the light, walked out into the crosswalk carefully and noted a police car slowly coming out of the street across from me.  

I walked merrily along, anticipating just a few cookies for later but as I walked more into the street, I noticed that the police car from the side street turning in --- just kept coming into the intersection, slowly, thank God, but it was NOT STOPPING, not stopping for the pedestrian (me) in the crosswalk. 

My mood quickly changed from merry to panic and my bag stopped swinging as I saw the grille of the police car very close to me and realized the police car was not going to stop.   

Screaming, I was able to jump out of the path of the oncoming police car.  Aren’t police people supposed to protect you from reckless drivers and not be them?  What is wrong with this picture???

The driver opened his window and very nonchalantly murmured to me  --- “Sorry, we were looking at something,” --- ‘something’?, ‘we’?, why we??? And why the driver???  Why was the driver ‘looking at something’ when his colleague could look at it???  Couldn’t one police person drive and the other ‘look’? 

And, could anyone have bothered, maybe, to look at me??? --- me, the pedestrian about to be run over in her own neighborhood, in a crosswalk, with the green light by people she once trusted and whose taxes she gladly pays for???

I saw the policewoman in the passenger seat next to the driver with a another contraption in her lap.  There didn’t seem to be an emergency, they were just moseying along, peaceful as could be, except for almost killing someone.

I never cry, ever, ask anybody who knows me --- unless a pet is sick and then I cry all over the place.  But, there I was on Court Street outside my favorite bakery, holding close the bag I had just a bit ago been swinging so merrily, crying my heart out, trying to focus on the bread in the window but realizing, instead, I had gotten way too close to not being around to buy bread or anything else and I would have been downed by the very people who hand out tickets for what they had just done. 

Your thoughts are greatly, warmly welcomed.

mpk

MS. CRANKY WONDERS --- IS THERE AN AGE WHEN ONE’S LANGUAGE CHANGES?

All her life Ms. Cranky remembers older women calling her ‘hon’ and ‘dear’ and ‘sweetie,’ most especially waitresses named Lil or Gert.  Cranky didn’t mind it, it was a nice part of life and she didn’t think much about it.  Until lately --- when Ms. Cranky became one of ‘those people.’

There was no warning nor preparation and no one told her to do it.  There was no instruction booklet or ceremony gently moving her into the world of the Lil’s and Gert’s of Cranky’s yesteryear.

But, slowly, Ms. Cranky began noticing those old familiar words creeping into her very own language, usually on goodbyes.  “Bye, sweetie; okay hon, see you real soon…”

Did Ms. Cranky get older?  --- Yes, of course, Ms. Cranky got older, and, seemingly, very quickly.  But, did Ms. Cranky suddenly become a waitress in a highway diner with homemade coleslaw and heavy off-white coffee mugs?  No she didn’t. 

It took a while for Cranky to process this information and to even realize she was doing it.  She’d hang up the phone and go, ‘Hmmm,’ did I just call my niece-in-law ‘sweetie’?  Was that actually me saying ‘goodbye honey’ to my mentee?   It was not thought out in the least but it was definitely happening. 

Now, over a bit of time, Ms. Cranky doesn’t mind the change; she even thinks it’s sort of sweet (not ‘sweetie’).  One day she simply realized her new speech had become a pattern, an ‘okay’ pattern that came with the passage of time --- maybe like lower-heeled softer shoes or needing eyeglasses or trying to decide to color your hair or not?

.

Ms. Cranky wonders your thoughts on this matter and also wonders if it happens in all cultures and what the names would be in Italy or Croatia or China?  And, Ms. Cranky celebrates all the women who came before her and their most welcome terms of endearment.  A term of endearment is always enjoyed.

See ya’ ‘round ‘dearies’!!!

April 2015

a few photos from our winter --- long, tiring, slippery but, at times, utterly beautiful, this night even my neighbors were hanging out their doors admiring and admitting its beauty.

the geraniums are outside now but in winter, they are in cranky's bathroom getting the southern light they so love. the skirts were in an exhibit in a building cranky works in, there were several colors of skirts hanging in the winter garden of the world financial center, moving some; in time the art installation was to be put to music, the different-colored skirts probably swirling about which cranky would have enjoyed seeing but never caught that act.

thanks for looking, Ms. C.

POLLY WANTS A CRACKER, MS. CRANKY WANTS A CRACKER, BUT JUST A CRACKER. (And, please hold the seven-thousand varieties)

Ms. Cranky wonders if it’s too much to ask to just buy a box of crackers anymore, regular old crackers, crisp and chewy.  Cranky doesn’t want to dampen anyone’s spirits or, worse, dampen a cracker and make it soggy (yikes!) but these exotic cracker tastes --- hello!!!  Are we that truly bored?

Does Cranky really need a jalapeno-banana-with a hint of lime cracker (made up name)???  Or, sesame, flaxseed, limburger cheese crackers???

  

Can’t Cranky just get an old really crisp crunchy cracker of yore?   Okay, maybe the black pepper ones, okay maybe those but please not tootie fruity.  And, boy does Ms. Cranky love her horseradish but she loves it in a proper tall slim glass horseradish jar in her refrigerator, not in a cracker --- oh, all-right, maybe horseradish. Cranky’ll concede to that.

Cranky wonders when all this ‘enhancing’ will stop and at what point will the desire to gussie up a perfectly-okay product cease?  Dill and sea salt, not bad, fire roasted tomato, tomato and basil, rosemary, okay but Cranky does not need all this confusion.  

Cranky is confused enough by daily life and dodging people walking into her with their appliances.  Why a cracker too? isn’t there enough to juggle?  How much can the brain handle?  And, why are people acting so nuts???  Probably because they can’t find a good old plain cracker anymore, not to mention the exorbitant cost of a box.  Hello, millionaires club! 

And, in the meantime, can we find out what’s in the ingredients of all these exotic tastes???  Can we examine the labels?  Ms. Cranky does not believe that variety of this nature comes without a problem.  Perhaps if God had wanted ratcheted-up crackers, he or she would not have started us out with a plain old wonderful wafer.

Ms. Cranky would, as always, love to hear your thoughts on any of this.  Maybe she’s just being ‘too cranky’ here, she admits that.  Or, maybe, other people feel the same way.  She’d love to hear. 

And, remember, never eat, plain or enhanced, crackers in bed.  That is a given, if not much else is.

April 2015

RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS --- a bit behind but the spirit is still there

Ms. Cranky was honored one night to be on a subway platform at Bay Parkway waiting for the “F” train, with views so spectacular of the Manhattan and Brooklyn skylines that she went to the end of the platform in the very dark.  She was the only one there waiting and Ms. Cranky is scared of, like, just about everything.

The new World Trade Center which Cranky usually loves to hate, was spectacular, shining, shining and the old Empire State as always lit up and, then, building after building on each side of the river was bright and right below where she stood, were the memorials rising up to the sky of one of the most beautiful cemeteries Cranky has ever seen, a very old Jewish cemetery.   Oh, and did Cranky forget to tell you of the small slit of a moon just sitting up there in the very cold?--- Cranky finds skies so spectacular in the coldest weather though her knees climbing those old old subway steps weren’t doing as well as the night sky.

Then, a few days later Cranky went into Manhattan on a brief outing, conveniently forgetting how intense the ‘Christmas crowds’ would be even after Christmas.  She had a few errands to do, and, then, hoped to grab a decent cheap lunch and walk through Bryant Park.

It was really hard getting through the crowds, very claustrophobic but all could be handled and went all-right till Cranky couldn’t find the reasonably priced Irish bar where she’d had a great sandwich once and, since Cranky does not eat breakfast, she was getting weaker and weaker and wandering up and down side streets searching and searching --- ‘it’s gotta be the next block, etc.’ getting, more and more, err, ‘cranky’ so she, finally, dove into a dark diner (unusual in itself, she should have ‘realized’) and quickly ordered a turkey burger, the cheapest thing on the menu. 

That’s when she was pushed by the waitress to order ‘deluxe’ which she didn’t want. And, in time, Cranky would find out that if you didn’t pay extra for deluxe, at least in this joint, you weren’t even allowed a pickle on your plate! 

The waitress had her so upset pushing for ‘deluxe’ --- “You won’t get lettuce and tomato and fries” she kept repeating and Ms. Cranky would more-or-less-patiently reply that she didn’t want ‘deluxe,’ this went on and on and, then, the barren turkey burger with not a teeny thimble of over wrought slaw nor a pickle, arrived, and, for some reason had a second roll on the plate, which Ms. C. found strange but was too hungry to ask about it and started to eat.  Anyway, she couldn’t do another ‘deluxe’ conversation.   Cranky does admit to munching a bit of the second roll --- who knew a turkey burger came like that --- and, why?

So, when she went to pay her bill, Cranky was all excited and in a good mood to tell the tourists who had arrived in the shop some places to go, where window displays were still on, etc., Cranky loves pushing the delights of her city as you might guess.  But, when she got to the counter to try to get a check, the stalwart deluxe-pushing waitress had over-charged her for her very plain old turkey burger and, then, added on $1.45 (!) for the extra roll Ms. Cranky had never ordered.  Is that a lot of money for a roll???

When Cranky asked the waitress about all this, the woman started screeching --- ‘you get a menu and check the charges, you cheat, you cheat’ and went on and on about Ms. Cranky ordering a second roll.  There went the tourists sitting there, Ms. Cranky hoped to chat with.  This was not the Xmas, New York City spirit Ms. Cranky loved.

Cranky, per the menu, changed the wrong charges on the bill to correct ones, crossed out the aforesaid horrid roll not asked for, multiplied everything by 9% tax as 8.75 was too hard for her rusty math brain to handle.  She left the money at the counter near the cash register with the corrected receipt and even left the screaming waitress a tip on the table, not as big as usual, but a tip.  

Then, Cranky sadly exited the diner without her usual pep talk to the eager tourists as she was too humiliated and found herself out on the street, still really hungry and not in too pleasant a mood.  This was not what she had planned but, then, whatever is?

So, stalwartly determined to ‘start again,’ Cranky walked up the side of the NY Public Library building towards the beautiful Bryant Park with it’s even more lovely tiny Christmas shops and great skating rink at this time of year, still upset from the dim no-pickle diner experience.

As Cranky was walking up a stairway holding on to the railing on the right side (the correct side to go up) a woman sent her son, actually pushed him to that particular side, ‘the wrong side’, where he hit Ms. C. but did not totally topple her.  The boy was about 10 or so but pretty large and the mother who had pushed him and seen it all, came laughing behind him as Ms. Cranky tried to pull herself out of harm’s way.  Ms. Cranky was not having a ‘great day in Manhattan’ so far.

Cranky rarely gets mad enough to speak up but this time, high on the tails of the turkey burger, extra roll, overcharge incident, she shouted back to the mother --- ‘Thanks for sending your son to push me down the stairs’ --- but the mother just kept laughing.  Cranky’s words fell on, well, not ‘deaf ears’ but huge thick purple ear-muffed ears.

But, just as Ms. Cranky might finally give in and feel a sorry for herself, just then, as she re-arranged herself at the top of the little stairway, came a family of four --- an older couple ahead, then, an teen-age boy and, next, probably, his mother.  

Ms. Cranky would have thought nothing of this group except for the fact that the younger woman, bringing up the rear, was crying and as Ms. Cranky stopped to notice, the woman began actually sobbing hard --- right there walking along, coming up from the beautiful park.  That stopped Ms. Cranky in her tracks, literally.  

No, she hadn’t found the cheap Irish bar hard as she tried, she had a barely decent sandwich in a diner and had been mis-charged, then verbally accosted for the mis-charge and certainly didn’t have ‘deluxe’ treatment, then, trying to approach the beloved park, had a large child hurled at her by his laughing mother who kept on laughing even as the boy fell into Ms. Cranky.

It hadn’t been a great outing but Ms. Cranky was not walking behind her family and crying, not even a little bit.  She quickly forgot her own minor woes and felt very sorry for this woman. 

Cranky approached the low white wall of the park which she so loved, where you could look out all across.  

She had finally arrived there and blessed herself as was her old way and stood silently praying for the poor sobbing woman, wishing she could stop whatever was hurting her, hoping the woman’s pain would go away real, real soon.

Ms. Cranky, sometime after Christmas, 2014Thanks for stopping by, love to hear any of your Christmas stories, sweet and bitter.  Please come again, writing more now.

IF A DEAD PLANT WELCOMES YOU TO AN OFFICE, SHOULD YOU GO IN??

A Ms. Cranky real, real short ---

Cranky thinks, without getting all new-agey and such, that omens are important in one’s life unless you get crazy and start seeing them in everything.  But, some omens Cranky feels are truly omens, like when she went to this health care provider --- in a fancy building, all gussied up, with fabulous doorbells and entry systems and buzzers galore but as soon as she walked in the door, she was greeted not only by a large plant right inside the door but she was greeted by a large and very dead plant.  Ms. Cranky, nervous about everything anyway and especially a new health care provider, thought –

"This does not bode well."  And later, she would wonder --- ‘why didn’t they just move the pathetic plant to the back, why would they have it greeting people at the entryway?  And, what are they trying to say???’

Omens can be silly, or a little too ominous, ha, ha, but in this instance, Ms. Cranky wished she had walked out of that particular place right then.  The plant said it all, though, in her obsessive care for growing things, she asked before leaving if she would be allowed to ‘work on the plant’ and they let her.

Water is always good for a dead plant, Cranky thinks, especially one with dead flopped-over leaves that should have been bright green but instead were brown or an even weirder burnt orange color? ,

Yeah, water works and, as a health provider, you’d think that might have occurred to the organization!?  And, then, Ms. Cranky asked to borrow a scissors and she cut off some of the dead leaves to give the tiny green part of the poor plant that was left a chance, and maybe not  horrify the next customer. 

Thanks, as always, for stopping by, Cranky would love to hear any similar stories.  Suffice it to say (to use a really trite phrase --- why not, it’s August?), Ms. Cranky did not continue her relationship with this place for long, she tried, actually, she tried valiantly but they answered their phones in the same manner they fed the plant --- like, by ignoring them.

It’s a wild and wonderful and nutty world and it helps to talk about it to one another.  Let me know your thoughts and stories.  Have a great end of summer.

And, remember to drink plenty of water and share it when you have a chance ---

Fondly,

Mrs. Cranky, August 22, 2014

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING (David Letterman’s new take on the phrase)

a Ms. Cranky short

Ms. Cranky likes David Letterman very much and his quirky, to her, most natural sense of humor.  Some of her friends disagree and Cranky herself really doesn’t like Dave’s Chris Christie weight jokes at all but otherwise she considers him a joy, a natural, un-contrived very original comedian. 

Take the other night; for instance, There has been a campaign in New York, hopefully everywhere, since 9/11 --- “IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING” --- the phrase is used on speaker systems on public transit, it’s on signs all over the city; we, again, maybe everywhere, but certainly in the New York area have heard it repeated for 13 years now. --- ‘if you see something, say something.’ --- makes sense to Cranky.

So, the other evening on late-night national TV, Ms. Cranky’s favorite talk show host was taking on the new hearsay that there could be bed bugs --- not anymore in the hotels of New York City --- but they might now be on subways.  So, Dave went on and on about this the way he does --- straightforward, gap-toothed, Paul from the band making his wonderful noises of agreement. (Ms. Cranky will miss Paul as well, he is so part of it all.)

Then, Dave showed a video they had made announcing a new city-wide campaign and Ms. Cranky who was not in a good mood at all, just about fell on the floor laughing. 

They had this video filmed inside a subway car and the announcer said over and over --- ‘If you see something say something”; then, they showed average citizens, dressed in their golf shirts for summer, etc. riding the subway and brought up the subject of the new threat of bedbugs.

And, the motto quickly changed from ‘If you see something, say something’ to “If you see something, SWAT something” and all these people in the video were shown running around the subway car holding fly swatters and swatting intently at the walls and windows. 

Remember --- if you see something (like dangerous or strange, a package left unattended, for instance) say something

And, if you see a bedbug --- SWAT SOMETHING.

Have a good day, everyone, it helps to laugh, it really does, life is truly incongruous and Cranky will really miss this late-night talk show host and his quirky most honest work. 

Swat away David Letterman as long as you can.  Ms. Cranky is so very appreciative.  

posted August 25, 2014, show aired maybe Wed. or Thurs. eve of last week

OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN ALL THE WORLD, ETC.

Ms. Cranky is just back from her idyll in the Adirondack Mountains where she goes each year to a writer’s retreat.  She is in a good mood --- so far.  She knew the mountain chain as a young girl and was always happy there and still is though she travels to a different section of the area now.  

It was a wonderful week, Ms. Cranky even did homework, a lot of homework and partied less (oh, well) and came away sad to go but full of good intentions, fervor and even a promise to her friends to get back to writing this column. 

And, then there was AMTRAK out of Albany, a train Ms. Cranky loves as it travels, seems to glide, along the brilliant shining Hudson River.  She was in such a good mood from her week of writing, friends and cookies when, of all the cars on the train and all the seats in the cars, a very young woman behind her  started shouting into her cell phone and crying at the same time, really openly and loudly sobbing.  

Ms. Cranky is very used to cell phone screamers, they are the bane of her existence in an otherwise beloved NYC and all its boroughs but she is not used to cell phone screaming on AMTRAK.  Late Friday afternoons when Ms. Cranky always comes back from camp are usually full of business people trying to impress you with their ‘big important’ phone talks, she hates that too but they do not cry. And on city transportation, cell phone screaming is simply accompanied by lots of swear words.

So, this particular abuse of cell phones in public and abuse of Ms. Cranky’s ears and peace of mind, had a new and very loud wrinkle, so to speak.  Ms. Cranky knew she could move to another car but why should she?  Her luggage was above and some cute guy had helped her get it up there!!!  Whew, and she and her friend were comfortably ensconced in their seats rolling along the glorious river.  

Comfortable, that is, until Ms. Histrionics began right behind her.  Why her, why???  “Of all the gin joints, etc.”  One of Ms. Cranky’s favorite quotes from Casablanca. 

Her friend tried to calm Ms. C. down and told her to ‘ignore it’ but that’s hard for Ms. Cranky being way too familiar with hysteria and people who work at making things worse than they already are, which is a ‘calling’ for some --- like the convent might be for others.

Ms. Cranky is very allergic to this behavior and can actually break out.  

Hysteria gets the person nowhere and Ms. Cranky feels that she has enough of her own problems so that when people throw theirs out in the world willy nilly, it’s very upsetting.  She has her life and her home and earning a living to worry about, not to mention a cat needing very expensive medicine, the Ukraine, Libya, Iraq and the impeachment of the President --- just to mention a few things.

So, after the fourth go-round of screaming and sobbing, Ms. Cranky walked two cars south, then five cars north, to find the conductor and get ‘rational information’, something the woman probably did not want because usually in cases like this, Ms. Cranky finds that the person wants to be in this place and to ramp it up even more.

The woman did not seem to know the name of the next train station to get off so Ms. Cranky walked through the whole train to get the proper information from the very attractive (either this was a good day for men or Ms. Cranky had been in ‘the woods’ too long) and walked back through the railroad cars to give the sobbing woman the information she probably could have retrieved from her very smart phone in two seconds if she had stopped wailing into it. 

This action on Cranky’s part quieted things somewhat because now there was ‘a solution’ but not for long because usually the upset people do not really want a solution.  They want to be upset and to drag you through the mud with them, if at all possible.

But, then, ahem, the very attractive, conductor Ms. Cranky had talked to came and did all the right things for the young woman.  And they all quietly ventured onward towards New York. 

Ms. Cranky wants to thank all the cute guys on the train (yet another would offer to help her get her bags down!), the sacred Adirondack Mountains and Ms. Cranky’s amazing writing retreat --- brilliant teachers, kind, funny and gifted students, smart helpful staff, great meals and, mostly, freshly baked cookies at each and every lunch. 

And, she thanks all at the retreat who encouraged Ms. Cranky to get writing again and she thanks God for the joy of coming home, no matter the home --- it’s full of flowers, lots of flowers, only one cat but this kitty so rich in love and joy of life makes Ms. Cranky laugh out loud.  She lies beside her desk as she writes this now.  She’s a ‘buddy, a true true bud.

And, so the rituals of daily life begin again, the things that Ms. Cranky loves --- refilling the water bottles, watering the plants (lots of water images --- hmm?). Home, blissful for now, home.  Cut off the yellowed flower leaves and spent blooms, put away things from the luggage, start supper, wash to do in a pile --- begin again, oh, yes, sacred again.

Ms. Cranky, Saturday, July 26^th, 2014

Thanks for stopping by, sorry was away for a while, Ms. Cranky would say she was on ‘hiatus’ except that she abhors that over-used word, one of many words she used to love until every movie star on TV mentioned they had been on ‘you know what,’ --- starts with an ‘h,’ ‘venue’ being the last word, Ms. C. turned on, sad to stop loving a word --- it’s not the poor word’s fault!

See soon, have a great week.  Ms.C.

MS. CRANKY HAD ALWAYS LOVED THANKSGIVING (until every TV show presented recipes for over 6 weeks before the Day --- get a grip people!)

 

Ms. Cranky is so glad Thanksgiving is over this year because she doesn't think she could stand one more turkey and/or turkey stuffing recipe (the turkey isn’t even stuffed anymore anyway!).  Cranky expects to see a glut of recipes on the cooking shows at this time of year but not necessarily for 6 weeks straight and not on every non-cooking show as well. 

Maybe even Al Roker got in on the act.  For all Cranky knows, he put on a white apron and paraded out some old family secret.  Ms. Cranky, by the way, loves Al Roker and does not even know if he did a turkey show act.  But, Cranky still has to wonder ---What is it with all these recipes and why blast them for so long a time period??? 

Is the American public really that dim-witted?  Isn’t making a turkey like universal knowledge?  And, now Cranky fears besides, of course, Christmas recipes galore from every Tom, Dick and Hanna --- a nauseating Valentine’s Day pre-preparation.  She’d better start getting ready for that one --- all that frosting!

A turkey’s a turkey, stuffing’s stuffing --- put in sausage, add an oyster, Cranky doesn’t care --- just stop telling her about it.  Brine the damn poor bird, don’t brine it but just calm down. 

Now, Cranky is really worried in trying to prepare for the onslaught of silly Christmas songs even on her favorite rock stations; they’ve already started and she’s jumping up changing stations and not getting any work done.  It’s enough to make her turn to those weird white things dangling from your ears. 

---

Ouiii, but, thanks for stopping by.  It’s always good to visit.  Cranky’d love to know your thoughts on this whole over-wrought recipe hubbub.

Ms. Cranky, Monday after Thanksgiving, December 2, 2013 --- rent due

 

MS. CRANKY GOT SICK ON THANKSGIVING DAY BUT DIDN’T FEEL SORRY FOR HERSELF (well, until pretty late at night!)

Cranky woke up quite sick on Thanksgiving Day but is proud to say, she didn’t give into feeling sorry for herself --- err, well, until the very end --- err, pretty late actually.

When Cranky woke up sick on Thanksgiving Day, she knew she had to make a decision --- first she felt too awful to be out and social, and, secondly, she didn’t want to pass on whatever she had to anyone else.  Cranky could hardly talk, strange for her.

Cranky’d been all ready and excited to eat with 14 other people at a holiday gathering she’d been lucky enough to attend for several years (she always hopes to not act too crazy and be thrown off the guest list but, sometimes, she forgets!).  Cranky loves this gathering of spirited people three times a year --- for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter and it’s but a few blocks away so you can leave and walk the dog!  Cranky doesn’t have a dog but she does walk some and has left the party at times and come back.

And, this particular Thanksgiving, 2013 was a very special one (to not be missed) as one of the dearest members of this group had departed earth last summer, and Cranky wanted to be near everyone at this time and remember him.  It would not be the same without Joe, ever, that’s for sure...

But, Thanksgiving dinner out with friends for Cranky was not to be this year; so, she delivered her contribution to the party, stayed distant from the lovely host at the door as she did so and went home.

Cranky was determined to not feel sorry for herself and she didn’t.  Things happen and she was a lucky person --- the electric bill was down a couple bucks last month, things like that.  And, she got to talk to her brother more that day, something she treasured and a good friend from Chicago called and she was there to take the call and didn’t rush off.  Life worked.  Well, sort of.

Cranky had leftover chili she had cooked earlier in the week.  She couldn’t taste anything anyway even the very hot peppers from the cute guy at the Farmer’s Market.  Still, she had food, a home, and a beautiful soft kitty.

But, when Cranky tried to read her book, her eyes hurt too much to read but, all along, she knew she had, an ‘ace in the hole’ so to speak (C. has no idea what that means!). For, though cheapskate as we all know Ms. Cranky to be, she had actually rented a movie the day before and was really excited to see it.  Usually Ms. Cranky goes to the library for videos but this time she plunked down the money. 

So, after the chili she couldn’t taste, she was going to watch a really good movie.  She was proud of herself for thinking to get it in.  Sometimes she really did take care of herself (no matter what anybody said) and this time she was glad she’d planned ahead and, because the video store was closed on Thanksgiving itself, she had it till 9 the next evening!!!  --- Whew, whew. 

Cranky plugged in the little-used VCR and was proud of herself that she finally knew where all the yellow, red and white wires went. Ms. C. had finally memorized that process rather than the old ‘trial and error’ routine.  She sat down all expectant to watch the movie.  You might remember that there is not much on TV for someone staying home on a holiday unless you are into Muppets specials or intense football.

But, the VCR player though showing brilliantly ready to go on the TV set, wouldn’t open, the little thingy you put the DVD in, just stuck.  Cranky tried this and that and this angle and that clicker and manually too but it was closed up tight with no way to insert the movie disc.  Nothing,  (Ms. Cranky will not go into the implements she eventually tried to open the damn thing with here but it involved nail files, knives and such).

And, besides being very disappointed and now feeling slightly sorry for herself, Ms. Cranky would still be too sick to return the video the next day and, so, would pay an extra and more expensive late fine!

So,  this is how Cranky tried to look at this situation because she had done so well not feeling sorry for missing Thanksgiving with 14 fun people and tons of food and drink.

She really worked at it --- Cranky first tried the ---“Hey, I wasn’t in the Philippines during the storm” routine --- that was a good one, then, “And, I wasn’t in the Rockaways during Hurricane Sandy” (she uses that a lot) and her familiar “I don’t have some horrible disease (that I know of)” routine. 

Ms. C.’s ‘current’ VCR had lasted, at least, for 8 movies, maybe 9, making that an all-time record for the breed.  Cranky got to see one season of Parenthood at her own pace and discovered her newly beloved series Friday Night Lights --- amazing work.  This last VCR, the one now by the door to go out, Cranky even went to ‘a most reputable store’ in Manhattan and bought a product with a ‘name’.  Oh, well, so much for that theory. 

--- 

Enjoy the season; there are so many holidays, so little time. As always, thanks for stopping by.  Be healthy and happy. 

Ms. CRANKY, Monday evening, December 2, 1013 --- rent due.

 

IT’S HARD TO BE CRANKY WHEN REMEMBRANCE OF SADNESS IS SO IN YOUR BONES

 

Ms. CRANKY knows she’s supposed to be cranky and complain and be wacky and off-balance, which she is sometimes good at doing but on the anniversary of September 11, 2001, it’s hard to be one’s old self.  So, forgive Ms. Cranky if she, with so many other Americans, remembers. 

The day was incredibly beautiful, ‘incredibly’ --- balmy, not too hot, not too cool, just wonderfully dry and lightly breezy.  The skies were bright blue with, as Ms. Cranky, remembers, not a cloud, or, if so but, a few wisps.  Cranky was, thankfully, working uptown for a few weeks.  Usually she worked downtown at the World Financial Center --- right across from the World Trade Center. 

Cranky had voted early before heading for work so she wouldn’t have to worry about getting to the polls on time after work.  It was a Mayoral election and people really came out.  When Cranky got to the subway station that day, the endless politicians with leaflets accosted her once again and she just laughed and said --- “No more, it’s over, my vote is in --- goodbye.”  Little did she know then that she’d have to vote all over again.

Since the horror that happened shortly after she arrived at her desk at her temp job uptown, Ms. Cranky gets a little superstitious when a day is so beautiful, she thinks a lot of people do --- like, we remember and think ----“ Don’t enjoy it too much, it could turn to great tragedy in seconds.”

But, Cranky thinks maybe she should try and get over that superstition.  Maybe it’s finally time, 12 years later to look at a beautiful day as a beautiful day --- a symbol of hope and newness instead of violence, death and tragedy.  Maybe she should think lovingly again of a balmy day, a pure blue sky, sun and lightness in the air as possibility, newness, life, oh, life --- the most fabulous of gifts.

Thanks for stopping by.  Take care of your good selves.  Ms. Cranky

Ms. CRANKY SENDS HER CONDOLENCES TO ALL STILL HURTING SO FROM THE LOSS OF THAT DAY AND WISHES SHE COULD HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IN PERSON, WHICH SHE NOW DOES OVER THE AIR.

 

September 10, 2013

 

Happy Birthday, Trevor. 

MS. CRANKY AND THE RAGE OF TV NAMES --- HAVE WE GONE TOO FAR?

 

 

Ms. Cranky has noticed a strange and possibly scary new trend, but, then everyone knows, Ms. Cranky is trendy beyond measure --- just look at her unmatched socks and cool ones at that.

But, this is a TV series trend that makes Ms. Cranky say --- “no wonder the world is in a miserable place” --- look what we’re watching? --- first there was REVENGE, then, DECEPTION, now new ones are popping up all over the place ---- lately promos for the upcoming BETRAYAL, so warm and fuzzy-sounding, and some others they keep pushing before Ms. Cranky can get to her beloved ‘mute’ button, what a great invention --- hooray for the mute button!

What does this say about our society, what does this say about how people view one another, what does this say about war????  Revenge, deception and now betrayal --- it’s sounding worse than the mayoral election!!!  What does this say about us???  And, why are we adding more and more shows with these names?  Aren’t the reality shows bad enough???

Ms. Cranky has some names to add for those producers always wanting to give us better and better TV, please just put the check in the mail --- how about dejection, rejection, discombobulated?  How ‘bout deplorable, unconscionable, innuendo (cranky actually likes that one) or implication or what a wild thought --- how about, decency, honesty, integrity, or just plain old affability.  I know, I know, Cranky is about to sound like a Mayoral candidate but, believe me, she is not and does not want to be.  Noooo way.

 

Ms. Cranky thanks you as always for stopping by.  It’s a pleasure to be read, it would be even better to hear from you, nice things best but,….

Have a wonderful after-Labor Day life.  Ms. Cranky rues the closing of her beloved city outdoor pools and vows to go to the indoor ones (okay, okay) even in the cold and rain, okay, okay, she vows.

MS. CRANKY GOES ON HER ANNUAL WRITERS’ RETREAT AND OTHER THINGS

 

Ms. Cranky came home from her wonderful Adirondack Mountain yearly writer’s retreat, sort-of vacation to find that 12-14 of her roses had bloomed in that one week while she was away, then, died.  But, there were three new ones waiting to greet her, all new fresh pink with pale yellow centers.  She felt bad missing so many blooms while she was in the ‘North Country’ and seeing them all now pale and hanging their heads but, hopefully, there would be one or two other bloomings before winter came, and, sometimes, even during winter --- rose against the snow is a wondrous thing to see.

Ms. Cranky hopes the community enjoyed them as it is a community garden and her rose bush sits right in the middle of it, by the wrought iron fence and behind very purple morning glories.

Ms. Cranky so loves the Adirondack Mountains, the scene of her youthful summers, those in another section of the great mountain chain, and now it’s her 11^th year at a writer’s conference with women she’s grown to love and brilliant teachers, those too she loves.  But, it is very strange to be in that area, it feels really scary actually, with all that greenery, high up in altitude and right on a lake, living in the midst of a usually cool forest, and to have the heat and humidity not that much different from the sweltering city she had left.  It feels so atypical especially up there where when she was a child, you prayed for the sun to come out and warm up the very chilly water and brought all your sweatshirts but no more, no more

Sadly, Ms. Cranky on the train on the way home, read an article from a commentator in an Oneonta newspaper, about the carbon dioxide levels being the highest ever and how they cannot be reversed and how if people keep using huge vans or whatever they’re called and fossil fuels, the levels will keep increasing ruining our climate forever.  Is Ms. Cranky in the minority worrying about this??? She wonders. She always wants to scream when people complain about the heat --- ‘then, why don’t you get a smaller car???  You’re doing it to yourself and all the rest of the world,’ the grand old USA always the leader, leading, sadly in this case, the pack in big cars and carbon dioxide pollution. 

Come on people --- stop having cute little babies you love if you’re going to give them this environment, think ahead (Ms. Cranky just cannot say the phrase ‘think outside the box,’ it’s a bit too over-used for her and everyone probably knows Ms. Cranky is a reverse or perverse snob and loves words and does not especially like anything ‘trendy’ unless it’s cupcakes though she’d almost always rather have a good old very crunchy cookie.)

And, speaking about cookies, Ms. Cranky had such a lovely week at her writer’s conference-sort-of-vacation with but a few, very few, kinks.  Not kinky, mind you, kinks --- get a grip!

Those kinks being, when someone complained about a class or the wonderful food the staff cooks up and presents to them all so lovingly or, if people started talking and blocked Ms. Cranky from getting to the coffee pot in the morning --- never doooo that.  Or, worse, much worse, if someone stood too long blocking the daily tray of homemade cookies (!), then Ms. Cranky reverted to her impatient sighing NY self.  Ms. Cranky’s motto is --- “Never get in the way of me and a good cookie!” 

But, those are minor problems in 7 days, minor though she does wonder if some people would complain about anything?  It seems so.  But, all was pretty fabulous, in fact, very fabulous, and on the last night, Ms. Cranky got so carried away thanking God for this blessed place that she knelt down on the beach by the lake in worship.  She thanked God over and over and woke the next morning with even more bug bites.

 

But, after a lovely ride down from the mountains with her wonderful friend and teacher, Pam,  Cranky got on a crowded Amtrak train in Albany and was happily drinking her water and torturing herself with the NY Times SATURDAY crossword (Saturday being a suicidal, at least thinking, crossword day).  Another fabulous woman  at camp bought it for her as she well knows Ms. Cranky to be too cheap (ah, err, frugal) to buy the NY Times in NY and much more so in a place where it is even more expensive.  So, Ms. Cranky was all settled in on the gorgeous Hudson side of the train when this woman across the aisle and two seats back started on her cell phone and her voice went directly into Ms. Cranky’s delicate ears, now used only to the sound of loons on the lake and the glorious sounds of laughter and singing by her friends. The voice was not only loud but complaining, complaining in a horrid nasal voice, a voice you wouldn’t enjoy hearing say nice things.  Ms. Cranky looked back and glared several times but the woman paid no attention, she was very focused on her complaining.  Ms. C. also noticed that though the train was crowded, this woman felt she could lay all her belongings on the seat beside her so that no one could sit down, but, then who would want to sit next to this less than uplifting conversationalist?

This went on for some time, and readers you’ll be proud to know, Ms. Cranky finally turned around and actually, she still can’t believe she did this, said “excuse me, excuse me,” --- and after several times, the woman looked up from her nasal complaints and Ms. Cranky asked --- “Could you please lower your voice?”Yey, yey --- usually Ms. Cranky can’t get up the nerve. 

The woman slightly, very slightly lowered her voice but not enough so Ms. Cranky went and sat in the ‘club car’ where there was no club, the food and drink bar was sadly closed.  She sat on the very edge of a seat of a booth where two nice men were sitting with a lovely looking bottle of red wine between them.  They even offered her some but she refused --- shock, Ms. Cranky!  What happened to you in those mountains??? She still wonders what kind of wine it was but did not feel right asking the guys to turn the bottle around so Cranky could read the label.  When the men found out why she came back to the last car, they said “Yeah, but we’re talking, won’t that bother you?” to which she replied “but you don’t sound whiny and nasal both” and so she went back to the pleasure-pain of the Saturday puzzle.

Ms. C. even fantasized about saying to the loud woman with all her things covering the seat --- “I would never think of throwing my personal conversation on you.”  She thought about it a lot but, in the end, she let it go and/or she lost her nerve.  And she wanted badly to get to her somewhat beloved home and to her truly beloved and very hot cat.

Thanks for stopping by.  Ms. Cranky prays you’re getting through this weather safely and remember that you simply can’t do all the heavy lifting and such that you might feel you want to do and she prays for our world and hopes that people see the light and vow to give up the luxuries that are hurting us all, including those who own them.  Just because you sit in a centrally air-conditioned home now, doesn’t mean that that can’t just go off --- like the electric, then what???  People would die or, at least, get very sick.

 

Love to everybody, this is Ms. Cranky’s favorite time of year so it’s hard for her to feel compromised in movement. And, she’s into heavy lifting as you might imagine.

And, if you ever have a chance to travel to the beautiful, un-ruined Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York --- run don’t walk! Take a bus, hop a train, rent a car or some people might have one!

Best to all.

Ms. Cranky

 

July 22, 2013, Monday

 

 

MS. CRANKY GOES ON HER ANNUAL WRITERS’ RETREAT AND OTHER THINGS

 

Ms. Cranky came home from her wonderful Adirondack Mountain yearly writer’s retreat, sort-of vacation to find that 12-14 of her roses had bloomed in that one week while she was away, then, died.  But, there were three new ones waiting to greet her, all new fresh pink with pale yellow centers.  She felt bad missing so many blooms while she was in the ‘North Country’ and seeing them all now pale and hanging their heads but, hopefully, there would be one or two other bloomings before winter came, and, sometimes, even during winter --- rose against the snow is a wondrous thing to see.

Ms. Cranky hopes the community enjoyed them as it is a community garden and her rose bush sits right in the middle of it, by the wrought iron fence and behind very purple morning glories.

Ms. Cranky so loves the Adirondack Mountains, the scene of her youthful summers, those in another section of the great mountain chain, and now it’s her 11^th year at a writer’s conference with women she’s grown to love and brilliant teachers, those too she loves.  But, it is very strange to be in that area, it feels really scary actually, with all that greenery, high up in altitude and right on a lake, living in the midst of a usually cool forest, and to have the heat and humidity not that much different from the sweltering city she had left.  It feels so atypical especially up there where when she was a child, you prayed for the sun to come out and warm up the very chilly water and brought all your sweatshirts but no more, no more

Sadly, Ms. Cranky on the train on the way home, read an article from a commentator in an Oneonta newspaper, about the carbon dioxide levels being the highest ever and how they cannot be reversed and how if people keep using huge vans or whatever they’re called and fossil fuels, the levels will keep increasing ruining our climate forever.  Is Ms. Cranky in the minority worrying about this??? She wonders. She always wants to scream when people complain about the heat --- ‘then, why don’t you get a smaller car???  You’re doing it to yourself and all the rest of the world,’ the grand old USA always the leader, leading, sadly in this case, the pack in big cars and carbon dioxide pollution. 

Come on people --- stop having cute little babies you love if you’re going to give them this environment, think ahead (Ms. Cranky just cannot say the phrase ‘think outside the box,’ it’s a bit too over-used for her and everyone probably knows Ms. Cranky is a reverse or perverse snob and loves words and does not especially like anything ‘trendy’ unless it’s cupcakes though she’d almost always rather have a good old very crunchy cookie.)

And, speaking about cookies, Ms. Cranky had such a lovely week at her writer’s conference-sort-of-vacation with but a few, very few, kinks.  Not kinky, mind you, kinks --- get a grip!

Those kinks being, when someone complained about a class or the wonderful food the staff cooks up and presents to them all so lovingly or, if people started talking and blocked Ms. Cranky from getting to the coffee pot in the morning --- never doooo that.  Or, worse, much worse, if someone stood too long blocking the daily tray of homemade cookies (!), then Ms. Cranky reverted to her impatient sighing NY self.  Ms. Cranky’s motto is --- “Never get in the way of me and a good cookie!” 

But, those are minor problems in 7 days, minor though she does wonder if some people would complain about anything?  It seems so.  But, all was pretty fabulous, in fact, very fabulous, and on the last night, Ms. Cranky got so carried away thanking God for this blessed place that she knelt down on the beach by the lake in worship.  She thanked God over and over and woke the next morning with even more bug bites.

 

But, after a lovely ride down from the mountains with her wonderful friend and teacher, Pam,  Cranky got on a crowded Amtrak train in Albany and was happily drinking her water and torturing herself with the NY Times SATURDAY crossword (Saturday being a suicidal, at least thinking, crossword day).  Another fabulous woman  at camp bought it for her as she well knows Ms. Cranky to be too cheap (ah, err, frugal) to buy the NY Times in NY and much more so in a place where it is even more expensive.  So, Ms. Cranky was all settled in on the gorgeous Hudson side of the train when this woman across the aisle and two seats back started on her cell phone and her voice went directly into Ms. Cranky’s delicate ears, now used only to the sound of loons on the lake and the glorious sounds of laughter and singing by her friends. The voice was not only loud but complaining, complaining in a horrid nasal voice, a voice you wouldn’t enjoy hearing say nice things.  Ms. Cranky looked back and glared several times but the woman paid no attention, she was very focused on her complaining.  Ms. C. also noticed that though the train was crowded, this woman felt she could lay all her belongings on the seat beside her so that no one could sit down, but, then who would want to sit next to this less than uplifting conversationalist?

This went on for some time, and readers you’ll be proud to know, Ms. Cranky finally turned around and actually, she still can’t believe she did this, said “excuse me, excuse me,” --- and after several times, the woman looked up from her nasal complaints and Ms. Cranky asked --- “Could you please lower your voice?”Yey, yey --- usually Ms. Cranky can’t get up the nerve. 

The woman slightly, very slightly lowered her voice but not enough so Ms. Cranky went and sat in the ‘club car’ where there was no club, the food and drink bar was sadly closed.  She sat on the very edge of a seat of a booth where two nice men were sitting with a lovely looking bottle of red wine between them.  They even offered her some but she refused --- shock, Ms. Cranky!  What happened to you in those mountains??? She still wonders what kind of wine it was but did not feel right asking the guys to turn the bottle around so Cranky could read the label.  When the men found out why she came back to the last car, they said “Yeah, but we’re talking, won’t that bother you?” to which she replied “but you don’t sound whiny and nasal both” and so she went back to the pleasure-pain of the Saturday puzzle.

Ms. C. even fantasized about saying to the loud woman with all her things covering the seat --- “I would never think of throwing my personal conversation on you.”  She thought about it a lot but, in the end, she let it go and/or she lost her nerve.  And she wanted badly to get to her somewhat beloved home and to her truly beloved and very hot cat.

Thanks for stopping by.  Ms. Cranky prays you’re getting through this weather safely and remember that you simply can’t do all the heavy lifting and such that you might feel you want to do and she prays for our world and hopes that people see the light and vow to give up the luxuries that are hurting us all, including those who own them.  Just because you sit in a centrally air-conditioned home now, doesn’t mean that that can’t just go off --- like the electric, then what???  People would die or, at least, get very sick.

 

Love to everybody, this is Ms. Cranky’s favorite time of year so it’s hard for her to feel compromised in movement. And, she’s into heavy lifting as you might imagine.

And, if you ever have a chance to travel to the beautiful, un-ruined Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York --- run don’t walk! Take a bus, hop a train, rent a car or some people might have one!

Best to all.

Ms. Cranky

 

July 22, 2013, Monday