Ms. CRANKY --- COSI WAS COZY

Ms. Cranky had a wonderful day yesterday and wants to talk about it before she gets, err, cranky again.  First there was a recital in the Bronx of some students she and her friends taught, a storytelling recital, like true stories and it was beautiful and touching and funny and the students shone and there were cookies and good strong coffee.  So, Ms. Cranky was on a roll and she had had a roll earlier that morning but now it was lunch time and she was in Manhattan trying valiantly to avoid spending $8 on a sandwich (!) when she remembered that Cosi sometimes had a chili special on Wednesdays that was reasonably priced and filling so she stopped by --- but she wasn’t prepared for all the other neat stuff that happened to her.

The staff was wonderful --- welcoming and helpful.  When she asked a young man where she could get water (usually they give you a cup and point you to a machine you can’t figure out and the water tastes like iced tea), he quickly smiled and said --- “I’ll bring you a glass” and he arrived at her table with this huge cold glass of water.  Then the waitress delivered her order and refused to take a tip from Cranky --- “no worry” she said, “give it to someone else.”  She too was all smiles --- had Ms. Cranky died and gone to heaven over night?   --- A reasonably-priced healthy lunch, a huge glass of icy water, smiling help and someone in NYC who didn’t want a tip??? 

The whole experience was lovely.  No one rushed her, she could take her time and do her crossword; people at the next table entered into a conversation with her --- was she in Dallas, maybe?  They’re real friendly in Texas, she’d heard.  Or, maybe, Oklahoma?  Somewhere West?  Then, when she went to the counter on her way out to get a take-out carton for her left-overs, another delightful young man took her bowl from her, whirled it away and brought it back all ready to go home. 

Everybody was helpful, everybody was smiling.  Something was right with this establishment and Ms. Cranky can’t wait to go back which is why she will not divulge which Cosi it is for fear of ruining a good thing.  These victories are not won every day.  They need to be cherished and protected.

Have a great day everybody, 6 more weeks of winter but at almost 60 degrees, that’s not bad.  And, this is the time of year Ms. Cranky suddenly brushes up on her football information and becomes a huge fan.  After hours of watching her nephews and now grandnephews scrimmage and play, she can ‘talk the talk’ with the best of them but only chooses to do it once a year because she loves parties.  But, this SUPERBOWL is really exciting; she has never seen her town so giddy.  And, it’s fun to be part of it.  Too bad she has a dentist appointment the next morning; bad planning, so, she’ll have to tone down her celebrations ---- GOOOOO GIANTS!!!!

Thanks, as always, for stopping by.

Ms. CRANKY, February 2, 2012, Groundhog Day

MS. CRANKY ON A POSITIVE NOTE ABOUT, OF ALL THINGS, A TV SHOW!

Ms. CRANKY is a bit of a snob about TV but she does, in fact, own one though she knows that that is not exactly the ‘in’ trend these days.   And, she picks and chooses what she watches and marks up her TV Guide she gets in the Sunday paper.  If there’s nothing really good on, she’d rather read or cook.  (Of course, she should clean!)

So, when Ms. CRANKY saw one of those magazine shows called ‘What Would You Do?’ she turned up her nose --- ‘what is this ‘Candid Camera’ for the 2000s,’ she thought?   How silly.  She would never be caught watching it.

But, then one night, CRANKY came upon the show and turned around in her thinking.  Because she likes human beings and, as you know, she very much loves when they behave well.  So, this show has actors acting unpleasantly to one another in a public place; then, there is a secret camera or cameras somewhere picking up the reactions of ordinary people around them and often those people rise up and confront the offending parties.  It touches Ms. CRANKY’S cranky old heart and gives her hope for us all.

Ms. CRANKY recalls one segment that spoke to her where a woman (an actor) berated her daughter (an actor) in a department store for ‘not being attractive enough, for being fat, etc.’ It was a most painful segment for Ms. CRANKY to watch but, then, these good people began sneaking up and talking to the daughter and giving her encouragement and even telling her she was beautiful.  It was enough to break Ms. CRANKY’S pushover heart.  Then, the host, John Quinones, a very low-keyed affable guy, arrives on the scene and tells everybody what happened --- that the mother and daughter were actors, etc. and tries to find out why some people were brave enough to intervene and some not?

So, last Friday night Ms. CRANKY saw ‘What Would You Do?’ in the TV listings, and boldly turned it on, the first time she’d seen the show noted in a while and she found some very moving episodes --- a very drunk father about to get in his car with his young son and a drunk father about to let his son, 11 years old, drive etc. and people on the street actually physically stopped him from doing that.

And, a young worker in a supermarket was being verbally brow-beaten by his boss and people walked up and encouraged him and told him he was doing a fine job and some went and reported the unpleasant boss to the owner.

Hey, it makes CRANKY smile to think that there are people still out there who care and are willing to risk putting themselves on the line for another human being.  Congratulations on a very pleasant and revealing show.  It ran on Friday evening last week and probably will again this week.

Hey, Ms. CRANKY thanks you, as always, for stopping by and hopes you have a good and positive week. 

 Monday, January 23, 2012

MS. CRANKY’S NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Ms. Cranky resolves in this sacred new year of 2012 to be extremely kind and sweet to people --- unless they walk into her bosom while reading their electronic devices.

And, Cranky truly resolves to stop envying thin women, especially those monsters who sit right across from you at dinner and eat everything in sight and when you question --- “do you ever have to diet?” --- they, oh, so casually reply --- “Oh, it’s in the genes, I can eat anything I want’”--- ouii, Well, good for you.  Ms. Cranky’s jeans are spelled with a ‘j’ and are a few sizes bigger than yours!

Ms. Cranky resolves to stop envying people with those big loving families.  Well, who knows how loving they really are?  She hopes a lot and thinks it’s a life’s goal.  But, Cranky has to stop envying those big loving families, you know like those people from Nebraska who walk through Times Square and hook arms?  Hmmm, or, maybe that’s it! --- maybe, in 2012, Ms. Cranky should move to Nebraska!

And, she wants to stop envying women who can wear horribly high heels and not fall on their noses and to stop saying things like ---“their feet are going to suffer in 15-20 years.”  Ouii, okay Cranky vows  to not say anything but still feels their feet will suffer and, maybe, earlier than 15 years.

Cranky resolves to enjoy the moment, the here and now and to ignore things that cause worry --- “will I?, won’t I?, will she, won’t he?, will I get that job?  Will my article be accepted, will the geraniums in the kitchen bloom before Valentine’s and, if so, will the salmon and red come out at the same time and clash?”  

And, to remember that old saying --- that sometimes ‘everything you need is right there around you.’

On this New Year’s Day, Ms. Cranky thanks God once again for some of her favorites --- the chortle of children’s voices and how they look stomping in tall rubber boots; cats, dogs, birds, butterflies; skies, clouds, seas, lakes, swimming pools --- and, horseradish.

Thanks for stopping by.  Happy New Year everybody.

Ms. Cranky

January 3, 2012

THE CASE FOR HOLDING CHRISTMAS PARTIES UNTIL AFTER CHRISTMAS WHEN Ms. CRANKY REALLY NEEDS THEM

Ms. Cranky will, once again, make her annual plea for not having Christmas parties at Christmas time although, so far, no one has much listened to her which makes her pretty, umm, ‘cranky.’

Ms. Cranky thinks that there are just too many parties bunched up at once and she can’t possibly go to three parties a night though she steadfastly tries.  Ms. Cranky’s philosophy and some of her family too is ‘never miss a party.’ So, she tries valiantly, clambering around town and up and down tiers of steps.  But with all these parties jammed together, she can’t possibly steal (er, ‘borrow’) Christmas cookies fast enough.

Now, Ms. Cranky wants to be clear about her Christmas cookie ‘thing.’  She doesn’t actually steal them.  She just helps herself to a few extra cookies on her way out the door and she carries her own ‘baggies’ to put them in.  But, Ms. Cranky, raised in a religious environment, also has stringent rules for her borrowing of cookies:

Like, she doesn’t steal from non-profit organizations or from someone’s home. She mostly uses her baggies and aluminum foil and coat pockets (though that can get pretty crumby, so to speak) to steal cookies from major corporations.  They can afford it.  But, if it’s a private home or a non-profit organization, she might ask the host or hostess if she could take a few cookies ‘for the road (er, subway).’  In truth, Ms. Cranky doesn’t eat a lot of sweets but she truly cherishes Christmas cookies and was once quite a baker herself. She still has little cookie cutters around to show for it but how can one bake in a Brooklyn kitchen???

But, mostly, Ms. Cranky wants Christmas parties held after the Christmas holiday season because she does not do too well during those long cold gloomy months of January, February and March.  So, if people held Christmas parties during those months, when they weren’t so busy and when Cranky and probably three-quarters of the human race really needed a good party, it would all work very well. 

But, Cranky has been gnawing on this old bone for years and, so far, not many people have budged; one couple she adores a few years ago gave a wonderful and relaxed party in mid-January and Cranky was all cranked up to go to that one and had a wonderful time.

But, actually, Christmas is the time of year you’re supposed to be sweating in overheated department stores, being sneezed on and pushed around by your fellow citizens in order to buy gifts that nobody really needs, you can’t afford and that will probably only be taken back anyway.

And, then you also have to use that Christmas party time to stand in long Post Office lines, waiting for those little yellow lights to blink or beep and then when they blink or beep, everybody starts hollering at you --- “over there --- no, go thaaat way --- go to window #12, no, go to # 6”, turn right, no, no turn leffft!” --- and, you’re so terrified you become like a deer in the headlights of the front of the Post Office Line --- wide-eyed and frozen in fear. 

Besides, you can’t go to Christmas parties at Christmas time, because at the Post Office you are once a year treated to dry packing tape that is accompanied by a weird little faded red moist (Ms. C. hates to think) sponge in a funny round glass bowl.  Every time, Cranky sees that bowl with that old sponge, she thinks of her mother and her aunts sending “care packages” overseas during World War II and thinks they probably used the same bowl.

So, a quick recap --- there are the gifts nobody needs and you can’t afford, the sneezing fellow citizens, the Post Office with its many scary scenes but, mostly, Ms. Cranky needs Christmas parties or anything even resembling any kind of party in January, February and March --- those icky months with nothing but flu and boots that leak. 

Ms. Cranky believes that many of you out there feel the same about Christmas parties in early winter and that we should form a movement --- but in this movement, we will not tent!  That’s  for sure.

Thanks for stopping by.  Ms. C. wishes you and yours the joys of the season, the real joys, and hopes you see lots of beautifully colored lights and breathe in good pine (and baking-cookie) scents.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Ms. CRANKY DIDN’T WANT TO WORK ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING IN THE COMMUNITY GARDEN BUT, DUTIFULLY, SHE DID.

Ms. Cranky was whining and complaining to anyone who’d listen that she was tired and had had a cold for months and didn’t want to be out working in the garden in the cold.  But, Cranky was part of a community garden and each year in December they had a tree-lighting ceremony and invited people to come.  So, the gardeners had to prepare the space, put up lights, hang decorations and set out food and drink.  But, it was cold out so Ms. Cranky was in a bad mood and grumbled walking over to the garden.  She was even crankier as she felt heavy in her many layers of clothes.

All went well; she helped hang decorations on the tree with interesting people who talked the history of the holiday and that was nice but she sure wasn’t going to stay long, --- no way.  Around 4:30 when most everything was done, the guests were not invited until 5, Ms. Cranky and her friend Susan went and got warm inside a friend’s café across the street; it was closed but he let them sit while he cleaned up for the day.

And, when they came out around quarter to five, they looked across the street in awe --- dusk had fallen and the lights were looking magical, there were so many more this year; they had been put on several of the smaller bushes and trees.   The Christmas tree itself was yet dark.  It was delightful to see how nice everything looked and Ms. Cranky began ‘perking up.’  But, remember she was still going to leave and go home early, she’d been sick, it was night, it was December, it was cold, the whole routine.

Then, around five all these people arrived, like out of nowhere and all at once.  The gardeners hadn’t expected much of a crowd, just the usual neighbors, but this was a big gathering with many people they’d never seen before and everywhere Ms. Cranky looked there were mothers and fathers holding up small children to admire the lights.  It seemed like everyone was holding up a delighted child and pointing.

Ms. Cranky didn’t cry but she might have for it was such a beautiful scene.  Then, the tree itself was lit and there was even more light. 

A woman arrived with a sound asleep four-month old boy in her arms.  She hoped he’d awake as lights were the one thing he saw clearly at his age.  And, in time the baby stirred and these small shiny dark eyes looked everywhere, taking it all in, like he was eating the light, tasting it.  His eyes made Cranky so happy, she forgot she had been sick and grouchy and whining and complaining not long before.  And, she quickly started bouncing around welcoming people, thanking them for coming.  She helped pour cocoa and made sure people knew where the popcorn was.  She assisted children in putting tinsel on the tree.

And, Ms. Cranky forgot about going home early and forgot the cold and it was a most miraculous evening, there on a street corner people passed every day, next to a bustling shopping area we take for granted --- being taught by little ones --- seeing the beauty of the lights through their eyes, learning anew about astonishment and what wonder was all about.

Ms. CRANKY On --- Do People Actually Buy Clacky Shoes On Purpose?

Sometimes when Ms. Cranky is walking down the street, it sounds like half the Bolshevik army is walking behind her and it often it feels they’re going to walk right up her back.  The noise is intense and the clacky shoes people tend to be ‘close walkers.’

Ms. Cranky tries to be understanding as she pulls aside and lets the pounding pass ahead of her.  She thinks that maybe these women, usually women in these cases, tried the shoes on in a store where there were rugs and they didn’t know how horrible they’d sound out on the street.  That’s what Cranky wants to think when she’s being kind, that the person doesn’t really want to announce their every foot step to the world.

But, sadly, she thinks she’s wrong to give the benefit of the doubt.  She thinks that maybe these people actually want to clack themselves loudly through life but Cranky still wonders --- why?

Ms. Cranky thanks you, as always, for stopping by and hopes you have a lovely sunny day.  It’s sunny where Ms. Cranky lives among the clackers.  And, she’d love to hear your opinion on the subject of very loud shoes and wonders if you have any ideas on why they would be a choice?  She knows in summer we have the various flip flop noises which can be slightly annoying and many men wear the kind that shuffle along but flip flops have mostly been put away for the winter but the big guns, the loud clackers, seem to be growing in numbers.

It’s a scary thought.

Ms. Cranky, Monday, November 28, 2011

Ms. CRANKY ON ‘TENTING;’ COOKING SHOWS PART II --- on overused, though often helpful, terms

In time for THANKSGIVING DAY --- talk of cooking, basters and such
Ms. Cranky always thought tents were things you went into the woods with and set up while swearing up a storm. Then, you slept in them, praying it wouldn’t rain and the water wouldn’t come flooding under your sleeping bag.  Ms. Cranky considers herself an outdoors person, even an Adirondack woods woman at times but she stops at camping.  It holds no romance for her and it holds lots of things she’d rather not know about.

But, ‘tents’ are now another hot item term being somewhat overused on her favorite cooking shows.  But, Cranky admits that tents are helpful and wonders what she ever did without them.

Cranky thinks that she may have used ‘basters’ in place of tents, at least she assumes them similar in theory.  You know you always had a baster especially at Thanksgiving time and you’d use it to pull up the liquid around the turkey, then squirt it back on the top and sides.  Cranky thinks this was done to keep the poor turkey from drying out and also to make it a wonderful inviting-looking golden color.  Cranky’s father was the major cook in their house and every time he basted the turkey (which seemed to be every two minutes), we all had to get up and go into the kitchen and make appropriate ‘ohh’ and ‘ahh’ noises to show our appreciation.   Cranky’s dad was a great showman when it came to food and she misses him even more around this time of year.

Cranky had a baster for years, it was real old and might have been handed down to her from her grandmother for all she remembers but as she became more aware of the dangers of plastic and plastic mixed with heat, Cranky wasn’t crazy about the baster anymore.  She really wanted one of those glass basters but they were more expensive and Cranky is always on some budget or other.

But, forget all that --- the use of glass as opposed to a plastic baster because Katie the kitty came to live with Ms. Cranky four Christmases ago.  And, Ms. C. has found that the older you get and the more you live with pets, the more protective you become or that’s how it’s been for her.  Cranky’s seen too many instances of the fragility of life and has gotten more nervous over the years, but not obsessive (ehh --- well, hmm?!).

The second Christmas that Cranky had Katie the kitty (the first one the terrified animal hid the whole season so they never even got a tree), she bought a beautiful tree from Vermont, put it up, well, Cranky finds her trees almost always ‘list’ a little and she ends up balancing the lovely fir against a nearby wall.  Cranky dutifully filled the Christmas tree stand with good clean water and a bit of sugar as recommended.  But, then, Ms. Cranky remembered reading somewhere that pine was poisonous for cats though she had had three other cats that had lived with Christmas trees for years and with the aforesaid water at the bottom of the tree.

But, being older and wiser now, Ms. Cranky decided, all these years of cats and trees later that she couldn’t risk Katie getting into the pine water for a little sip.

So, Cranky devised a masterful, she thought, scheme to protect her still pretty new companion from toxins.  She pulled out her very old turkey baster and every time she left the apartment, which was a lot, she’d siphon the water up and out from the Christmas tree stand so Katie couldn’t drink from it while Cranky was out.  Of course, this meant that, after the holidays, the turkey baster was pretty sticky with tree resin and impossible to clean so it had to be thrown out.  And, cheap as Cranky can be, err, ‘frugal,’ she never bought a new baster as she thought the plastic models not healthy and the glass too expensive. So, now Cranky just spoons liquid over things cooking in the oven and with new information garnered from cooking shows, she is also ‘TENTING.’

Cranky thinks the tent theory a good one.  You put liquid on with a spoon but, then, when you tent the dish, i. e. put a foil wrap over it and close it on the sides, the liquid (this is C.’s theory, she hopes she’s right), goes up to the top and then the moisture descends on the dish so that it’s almost like a baster.  Ms. Cranky hopes not to be criticized by the cooking fanatics of which there are many but that’s how she sees it.  And, mostly, no more plastic coupled with heat which is good. 

And, as for the Christmas tree water --- the last few year’s Cranky’s covered the stand with its own little tent of foil and, so far, Katie the beautiful and funny cat, has not thought to dig below it.  Katie is well taken care of in the food and drink department and has plenty of real cold filtered water in her own bowl.

So those are Cranky’s theories on tenting, basting and not poisoning your pets.  And, maybe some time, on the subject of cooking etc., Cranky may talk about funnels for she truly loves funnels but fears she lost a long-term friend over talking about funnels, perhaps a little too enthusiastically --- well, let’s just say that Cranky never saw this guy again, so, she’s a bit reluctant to get into the funnel subject.  But, she also knows she’ll probably not be able to control herself forever.  She may even get a new funnel or even two for Christmas.

Thanks for stopping by. The very best to everybody from our house.  Thanksgiving is a neat holiday, Cranky thinks, it’s calmer than some.  She hopes you have a whole wonderful Thanksgiving week and that people are smiling and kind to you everywhere you go.  She hopes that ‘help’ in shops is helpful and that people don’t walk into your chest while reading their mechanical devices --- that would be something to be grateful for!

Cranky hopes you cook joyfully with or without a baster, a tent, whatever and that you might begin imagining the smell of pine that will soon fill our streets and our homes, if we are so lucky.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving week